I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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