So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
