just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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