Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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