My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
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I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
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WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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