Whoa Z and x make the same sound
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize