I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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