kristin has been a bad kristin
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
