If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Randomize
