i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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