actually, I'm a sock model
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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