i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
