oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
