Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You can't motorboat a personality
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Randomize
