I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
