Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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