dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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