I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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