There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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