Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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