he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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