addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
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the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
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Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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