you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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