white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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