jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
