I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize