You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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