My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We just shotgunned beers for America
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize