Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
