Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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