I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.