apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.