I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
