this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
