The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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