So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
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So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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