Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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