T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
tell me about the fingering
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