You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
