And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
