I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
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She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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