I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize