so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
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She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
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red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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