But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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