It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The uberlube is also flammable
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
