waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
