I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
