I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
