I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
