Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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