The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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