you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
