ya dads aren't the best wingmen
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
