I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
