She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
