I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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