Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
