Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
