So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
